Friday, November 23, 2007

Mind Play


Your actions portray
what you fear to speak
I’m left to interpret
and show what you ask

I’ll put miles, not days
between us to let you wallow

in solitude

4 comments:

Frederick said...

you have talent

Paula's Poetry said...

Thank you Frederick
I really appreciate your kind comment.

I am glad you enjoyed the poem and hope you check back often.


Paula

The Unskilled Poet said...

I like the simplicity and directness of this piece. I hope you don't mind some gentle feedback, but I feel like the last sentence 'in solitude' could be dropped, as it feels to me like it breaks the rhythm and emphasises the point that 'let you wallow' makes. Feel free to ignore me, though!

I look forward to reading more of your word.

http://unskilledpoet.blogspot.com

Paula's Poetry said...

Unskilled Poet,

I am always open for suggestions and feedback on my work.
I do appreciate your comments and thank you for reading.

I'll look at your suggestion and give it some thought.

Paula